How to get out of an unequally yoked relationship when you live together: 5 Tips to transform your life (Part 1)
Can you believe that today is already March 1st? This new year certainly has been one where I've had to become super strategic with my time. This has also been the first year that I've invited God into my goal setting and had a clear vision for things to focus on in this season.
One of my goals this year is to help other Christian women walk in the fullness of who they are in Christ to experience transformation.in every area of their lives! The first area of focus for 2020 is relationships. This blog post is a compilation of 5 tips I want to share with you from my personal experience of leaving an unequally yoked relationship with my ex who I lived together with at the time.
So, on to the meat and potatoes:
1. You need God
The very first thing that you need to get out of an unequally yoked relationship when you live together is GOD! As you probably know by now from reading my previous blog, I was raised in the church. As I grew further from God my heart became hardened towards Him because I ignored the conviction of the Holy Spirit trying to help lead and guide me.
Jesus explains that no man can come to Him unless the Father draws him (John 6:65). The natural man has no ability to come to God, nor does he even have the desire to come. Because his heart is hard and his mind is darkened, the unregenerate person doesn’t desire God and is actually an enemy of God (Romans 5:10). I believe that because I had grown discontent in the relationship I had with my ex not seeming to have more direction or progression towards marriage God was able to use that discontentment to draw me to himself. He began to speak to my Spirit and in searching for more I was open to listening to Him.
2. Make a commitment & communicate
The first thing that God convicted me about as I was pursuing a relationship with Him while with my ex boyfriend was sex. This wasn't a new conviction just one I had been ignoring for a minute. That "guilty feeling and emptiness" I felt after every sexual encounter lingered. I knew that sex was a privilege that was designed to be beautiful inside of marriage between a husband and wife not something to be abused continually. I knew that my ex and I weren't married, but I would deceive myself to make the feeling of guilt go away and think to myself well we are going to get married one day or he loves me and I know he wants to marry me so I am just submitting to his desires to have sex with me. And in the interest of truth, it wasn't all him!
I had began to develop an appetite for sex myself and initiated things with him as well. I believe that is what the Bible refers to in Song of Solomon 8.4 where it pleas for the daughters of Jerusalem (you could say women who belong to God) not to awaken love before it is time (in this instance, wedding night). I tried to avoid having sex for about 2 weeks while I wrestled with God in my mind about surrendering my body to Him. I grew the confidence to finally communicate my decision to no longer have sex outside of marriage when I kept getting questioned about acting strange anytime my ex started to "get in the mood."
I was so afraid to confront him and have the conversation because I did not know how to explain to someone who didn't receive the same convictions I did in my faith and I didn't want him to leave me. He responded my suggesting we take a break to figure out what we wanted, but I knew I wanted what God wanted and that I was tired of ignoring God and trying to make our relationship work my way. I had come to the end of myself and I was ready to submit to whatever God was telling me to do at at that point. I had made a commitment to rededicate my body back to God and communicated that with my ex so he was clear I no longer wanted to have sex...
The next 3 tips I want to dive into with you next week so that I have time to meditate over which scriptures I hope to include with the remaining points to encourage your journey of separation as it is not easy, but definitely necessary to leave an unequally yoked relationship ESPECIALLY if you live together.
Which is your favorite tip from Part 1 and Why ? Comment below to share your thoughts(:
Hi, my name is Shantel Patrice Taylor! I am a Christian educator and entrepreneur. I find journaling very therapeutic so here, I hope to share some of my entries with you as I am led by the Holy Spirit. Be sure to leave a comment to dialogue and let me know what you think!